So i got there, the first thing that came on my mind “I knew that Aussies are in a way are tight asses…but i really didn’t know that they are that tight...4 years spent with an Aussie should have taught me better i love my boyfriend regardless.”
Location of the bar is away from all the big and busy districts (aka cheap rent). The place itself, well of course I was hoping to see some Roo-s and Emu-s on the walls, geckos,boomerangs and maybe even crocodiles, but the place was rather nice, homey and comfortable, a bit small though about the size of a sardine can. The place was packed…with 15 people…it just physically wouldn’t be able to fit in any more without such fatalities as choking to death just because someone couldnt keep their gases inside and felt an urge to let it out…There is a cool thing about the place, it is a non-smoking bar..which i liked very much since im not a smoker now.
The stand up comedy was in its full swing. So i stood there, hoping some Aussie mate would start picking on me for being late for the show.
First disappointment – there were no Aussies. Second – there were no Aussies in a radius of 1000 km, otherwise i would have found them.
The stand up comedy was good, i think i smiled a couple of times. I assume some of the comedians if not all of them are English Language teachers from the states, who read their jokes from the piece of paper…All the stand up comedy shows i ve been at before were a pure improvisation with a comedian constantly interacting with the crowd, making fun of someone and pointing out something obviously funny. But of course, those guys are professionals, and im sure those guys at the pub did their best to make everyone laugh…(perhaps it is something out of American humor to laugh every time you hear the word “fuck”).
I had some thoughts about “what would i talk about if i were there?” Certainly it takes some balls to go out there and perform and actually succeed and not to get booed…At first, since I’m from Russia i guess i would have said something about living there, like…”In the winter it gets so cold you just don’t want to go and pee outside because you ll just stub yourself to death”…anyhow…, after about 5 minutes of looking around i noticed that all male English language teachers were dressed up in whatever is now considered being “stylish” in Korea, for a normal person they all looked just like a bunch of nerds – let me explain. Now in Korea, if you are a male, it is very Stylish to wear a pair of big fucking glasses with thick lenses regardless to what your eyesight is, wear tight jeans that hang on your ass and look like you just had a huge dump in your pants, gumshoes that totally mismatch with the color of your entire outfit (red or bright fucking green or yellow) and on top of that wrap a big ass scarf around your neck so you look like human size ice cream cone with a tiny cherry on the top.
Okay. Moving on.
One guy started talking about how sometimes you get them “WTF” moments…a-ha, i thought…finally someone with something interesting, he started talking about HOW HE SAW A HUGE FUCKING DRYING MACHINE!!!
I mean, what is so WTF about this moment? The size or the fact that it is a damn drying machine? Dude go to Russia and you ll be surprised, there we have these huge stoves called “pechkas”, they have an oven and enormous amount of space to cook on and it doesnt need an electricity to work!! They can also be used as an incinerator to burn someone’s body whatever trash you have at home, and sometimes you can even sleep on it!!Now that would fuck you up.
That, right away brought a conclusion in to my head: “Mate, you are a WTF moment yourself…”…maybe it has something to do with their style…you know how when we girls change our hair color to blond we all become fucking retarded…dressing up like a nerd seem to have the same effect on man. (Blondies, please no offense, i personally know many bright and intelligent blond girls and some of them are so fucking smart i feel retarded when im with them).
Where was i. Ah, one girl started talking about how sometimes you would have to go and stay and your grandparents place. Normally grandma would cook you a breakfast and while you are having your breakfast she d ask what do you want to eat for lunch, then when you are having your lunch your grandma would ask what do you want to eat for dinner and of course, at the dinner she d ask what do you want to eat for breakfast. Damn, i wish my grandma was asking me what i want to eat…but we koreans eat riceall the time -  for breakfast, lunch and dinner! If i wanted to eat something else, i d have to cook it myself ffs. She would make some rice with milk kind of porridge on a rare occasion though or some “tok”-little gooey things made of rice >< if you been a good kid all week, and then if she s like in a super great mood she d put some beans in your rice, lol!!!..ahh gotta love grandmas…they are awesome, my grandma is the best rice cook!!
Alright, there was another guy though, who had some okay jokes, but he just read all of them from his iPad in the most ridiculous order you could ever possibly imagine…It’s like he googled jokes and just randomly copy pasted it in his iPad or no, it seemed like he was googling them at that time and was reading whatever came up first! (since the bar has a free wi-fi it is very likely).
Funny enough he started with a cock blocking…”you know there is always one girl in the group, who would protect all the girls…she s not on the top list of hotties, in fact she s normally in the very bottom of that list so she would say random stuff in front of guys”…
- MATE!!!”Cockblocking” is intentional or not very intentional action that serves to prevent a male from getting a pussy (normally it is a male stopping another male). What you boy described here has another term – a twat swatter (thanks to Dane Cook for perfectly defining an action of a female cockblocking action).
Ah, hang on…remembering stuff from the last night gets very hard at times because of the amount of alcohol consumed during that night. I feel like my head is full of packing chips now (those that stick to you and you cannot unstuck all of them, and there is always one or two left, like on your ass or armpit).
Anyhow, the stand up comedy was a pretty cool thing to see, something different. Comedians were good, some more, some less…I would definitely visit the place again, just to see what new comedians would come up with. The sad thing is, as soon as the performance finished everybody left the bar, so i took off as well. And thats when i felt stupid for the second time in the evening…because i had to walk downhill in my high heels…and I’m pretty sure i looked like some bandy-legged frog pecker trying to perform this stunt.
The bottom line is, it was a good night…

Registered ME’s:_________Unregistered ME’s:

1. Will always use 100,000 Rp__1. Will use 50,000 Rp
bank notes._________________bank notes
2. Will count the money out____2. Will count the money out,
ONCE and won’t touch it again!__then they will touch it A LOT
___________________________to confuse you.
3. Will NEVER talk____________3. Will talk A LOT, to distract you
to distract you_______________while touching your money
__________________________several times.
4. WON’T say anything if you___4. WILL ask you to exchange
want to exchange 50$ only._____more and more money at once.
5. Will never charge any tax____5. Will charge you extra fee’s
or commission.
6. They have lower rate,_______6. Unreasonably high rates,
but then you can be sure_______and by the time you get home
you get all your money.________you will realise that you actually
__________________________40$ short.

EXTRA TIP: Always double check, even in registered ME’s.

Do’s and Don’t s in Bali, Indonesia:

-DO Use Registered Money Exchangers.
-DO Drink plenty of water. There are chances of getting dehydrated in Indonesia.
-DO Keep your original important documents back in your hotel and roam in Indonesia with the copies of the document.
-DO Put on sunscreen to avoid sun burns(At all times. Even if there is no sun)
-DO Look after your belongings(bag, valet etc), so it doesn’t gets snitched away.
-DO Report to a police if you caught a kid (6y.o or 10 y.o any age) trying to steal something from you. It will prevent kids from dropping down deeper into a criminal world in the future.
-DO Bargain. Everything is negotiable. Unless you are in the shop like “Rip curl”, “Billabong”, “Gucci” etc.
-DO Go and do “White water rafting” fresh and cool water of the Balaniese rivers will chill you on a hot day and you will get plenty of positive emotions. Bargain for that one too.
-DO Put on some anti mosquito cream on yourself. Getting a dengue fever is the last thing you want to happen to you when you will be back from a vocation.
-DO Look around when crossing the street. Cars may stop, motorbikes probably wont.
-DO Double check your bills after dining in the restaurant. Somehow a lot of Indonesian people are tend to do mistakes, like charging you for something you didn’t drink, or doubling your total…absolutely by an accident.

-DON’T Step on offerings in the street of Indonesia
-DON’T Touch heads of male, female and even children, as it is considered offensive in the country.
-DON’T Enter temple during menstruation, sorry ladies.
-DON’T Even try to swim in the sea/ocean if you are not a good swimmer. Currents can be very strong in some places. Use swimming pools…
-DON’T Get annoyed/angry in the process of bargain…it is all just a game.
-DON’T Get scared if you see a whole family on the motorbike, carrying  a baby in one hand, driving with another plus transporting something big on their head. That’s totally normal.
-DON’T Forget to bring Travelan to prevent a Bali Belly, or just drink Yakult – can be found in any convenience store.
-DON’T Look and dont ask how much. If you do look or ask you will be followed for miles.
-DON’T Drink the tap water. Never.
-DON’T Tip at places where service tax is already added. Unless the service was awfully good, and i doubt it will be.

Ok, enough about serious stuff. NOW, Who the hell issues the driver licenses to all these people?
I mean, do they learn it in the Driving School to honk your horn absolutely randomly and everywhere?
“I’m overtaking *Honk*, I’m taking a turn *Honk!Honk!*“. Now I just *Honk!! ><” just to let you know I’m here. Oh! An Intersection!!! *Honk-Honk*!!!. Ah and another one *Honk Honk Honk!!!* oh, nah… that was just a pedestrian crossing =). *Honk Honk*!!! Gosh I’m going faster than you *Honk Honk*, Move your dolly-tab out of my way *Honk Honk Honk Honk!!!!!* =D.
And Who said “they drive like idiots in Sakhalin”?…Honestly…if you are riding a bike in Bali than you better sign an immortality pact with God.*Honk-Honk-Honk-Honky-Ho000000nk!*

Another thing that left me wondering is…Do Indonesians really think they are smarter than anyone else? Visited a restaurant (an empty one, later you will understand why).
The waitress came over and told us about their great deal “Buy 2 get 1 free”. Sounds like a good deal. Riiiiight.
First – Normal price of the cocktail is 50.000Rp, But on Happy Hour it is 75,000. One way or another you will pay 150,000Rp for three drinks. What’s the point then calling it a Happy Hour, you smart ass?
Second – The taste was awful. It was more like water with ice plus a splash of something…Uncool
Third – Gosh they tasted awful!!! I didn’t even finish it.
The same place offers you a spaghetti bog…promising to sprinkle some very fine Parmesan on top. And you know what…they never put it in. I felt abused and humiliated at the same time for some reason. I honestly was looking forward for some of these fine Parmesan sprinkles…jackass…
Meat in salad tasted more like an old piece of rubber…Meet normally tastes pretty bad in Indonesia, but that one seemed like it died of an old age or something.
And here is the name of that place “Lobong Cafe” in Ubud. We spent about half an hour there and then we’ve walked past a few times later in the evening… Guess what. It was still empty. Not even wondering why.

About a place to stay…
Kuta, “The Best Western”. 3 days.
All is good unless you are afraid of spiders size of a small monkey. Room was nice, shower included a foot bath (as one my friend wrote about his hotel in Nigeria). Hot and Cold water tubs were mistakenly put vice verso. Emmm, I couldn’t find a laundry bag, the Mini bar is full, but they keep coming back to add something like chips, chocolate bars and water…every day. Even thought we didn’t eat them. Bath towels come with blood, poop and the hell know what else stains on them…The air conditioner sounds more like an airplane turbine BUT blows like if someone was standing there with a small fan in his hands waving it on you. The king size bed is actually made of two twins beds =).Off topic: Tim thank you for your post, so i had something to compare out hotel with.
The swimming pool was pretty awesome though. It included a huge 3 meter drop down, and as far as i’m not a good swimmer i consider it as a useless part…unless you do bomb jumps or dive in it. Oh, it is kinda awesome seeing divers practicing in this pool occasionally too. They looked like a cleaner fish hanging near big whale ,picking plankton off his belly. I love the Swimming pool bar thought.
Also they had a “cinema” kind of thing, at the lobby bar. For some reason the speakers were working the wrong way, they were very loud at the bar and you couldn’t hear shit when you was sitting in the actual “sitting and watching” area. Also it broke down in the middle of the movie. Good place to hang out. The STAFF is nice and friendly, but they don’t seem to be doing handovers when the shift changes.
Balian Beach, “Pondok Pisces” Bungalow. 5 days.
All is good as long as you put the anti mosquito cream. You have the whole house to yourself. Nice swimming pool, which was not overfilled with chlorine. Most pools in Bali are like acid. Stings your nose =). Shower has an eggy smell…but only for a while. Also while you are waiting for this while to pass, your hot water runs out as well, so you end up taking a cold shower afterwords. Mosquito Net is built in into your sleeping area. The only problem is – it is nailed to a wooden bar which is hanging down from the sealing, leaving a 20cm gap for mossies and whatever insects to creep in. Roof leaks…on the TV. Also the roof has big gaps, so occasionally wasps and bees are flying through…I think they built this bungalow on a flying creatures highway… Ants are cool…they don’t bite unless they are dark orange or red color. if you see those, you better walk away and fast…they pinch and bite and it f***king hurts. Water from the river is so dirty that it gives you an ear infection…so stay in your pool. There is a bar too right on the beach, they have a very good cocktails and meal and prices are very reasonable and even cheap. The STAFF in bungalow are very kind and smiley…also they are watching you from the bushes pretending to be cutting it.
Ubud, “Ubud Bungalows” , 3 days
No mosquitoes, a shower for a 3 ft midget, curtains that leave a half of your window opened, no matter how hard you try to place them. Hunting geckos (very entertaining). A pool, a big one, also they removed some tiles on the bottom, just to give some pattern to a pool, they probably forgot to think that removing an object out of it’s natural place leaves a hole. Also it leaves a pretty good scratches on your feet if you step into one of them. They had a swimming pool bar too, which was always closed. Air con was installed, but due to whatever reason it didn’t work. The STAFF is…not there…
Sanur, “Ellora Villas”, 3 days
Another place to stay. expensive but very comfortable. You get an apartment with your own kitchen, that you will never use and your own pool, overfilled with chlorine. Mosquitoes are breeding in a pond with shower outside that you never use and flying into your place through the drain in the toilet room. Mosquitoes are a size of a small dog. They just peacefully sit on the lamp and waiting for you to go sleep. They don’t even bother to fly around in the day time. Also there is a third shower, just outside behind the shower room…Not even sure what for. Place has bicycles for rent, breaks don’t work, tires are flat. But they have a very fancy blue color. The apartments are built into a maze, so don’t worry if you walk past the same object more than twice before you find your place…I should have suggested offering a map on the entrance. No night life in this town…like at all. The STAFF is nice and friendly, but rarely are helpful. Ordering a pick up to the airport 2 days prior your actual leave is USELESS. They will say “Yes, right away”, then they will forget it, then the shift will change, they will never do a handover even if you are the only person staying at their place and you will be leaving in a rush because “Oh, we are sorry, the taxi is late because of the rush our.” Of course it will be late, you called the taxi like 5 minutes ago.

And some more tips:
-When driving a bike, take a dark helmet, so the police won’t know if you are Indonesian or a tourist.
-Absolutely mandatory to take a “white water rafting” trip
-Don’t take any fancy clothes, there is no place to wear them anyway. Everything is pretty casual.
-Take a bottle of water with you wherever you go.
-Be safe and have a lot of fun.

“Today, I was happy in my dreams. And i finally understood what the ‘real happiness’ means…
Enter, Register, and make a WOMAN.RU a home page”

Who would have ever thought xD.

The best score : 121 against 30

I think it’s fair after all those games he won in Football…
Mister smarty pants took some practice at the very same evening, as he just couldn’t take being defeated…
Looking forward for tonight’s 20 Overs =D

I am currently in Karratha, so the post will be all around this place…pretty much. I’m not going to give away all our “fishy” spots in the ocean, but will give some tips for newbies like me =)

Spanish Mackerel or a Mackie as an average ozzie bloke or sheila would say =)
Those are fun to catch and good to eat…in healthy proportions…trust me even after “filleting” those fuckers big species you will still have enough meat left to feed a dozen people. Sharks don’t mind fried Mackies either =). I’m not going to write the whole procedure of catching the fish as I am not an expert, i will write what worked for me and my mister fisherman. If you have a teeny…tinny…?(a small boat) it will be pretty  much enough to get to the pipeline. Pipelines are smartly covered with a layer of something what later becomes a really nice reef for the fish and they love hanging around there. Many people would suggest “luring” or “trolling” the Mackie, in a way it might be pretty productive, but hey, circling in one spot for 3 hours would make anyone seasick, another negative side of luring/trolling is when someone tells you “I caught shit loads of Mackie in this spot just the other day”, there is still not a big chance of You catching that fish in the same place. They are fish…they don’t just hang around in one spot for weeks waiting for you to catch them…they have the whole ocean for Christ sake, and in the end if you will catch one big nothing, you defo wont be happy with an amount of fuel and time spent for nothing..If you really want to have fun, anchor right above the pipeline(using such an app on iPhone as Navionics Marine and a sounder on your boat is essential), do some Bottom Fishing, while your  extra rod with a Special Super Mega Setup line is out with some life bait(or at least freshly defrosted one).
Special Super Mega Setup xD – sort of like drift fishing but without drift =).
IMPORTANT: always use a floater for this setup, or you will catch the snag/coral/pipeline, then you ll have to snap your line (which is not fun at all)
Just cast the line as far as you can and sit there in your boat and enjoy bottom fishing.

Setup: Heavy rig, trolling/spinning gear. Garfish as a bait would do. 30-60 lbs main line connected to a 80lbs line or a wire trace(up to you). 3 hooks connected together(sorry i don’t remember which ones…you will have to improvise).
Can’t promise you will catch it, but why not give it a try =)…our catch was a 25 kg Mackie (my height is 167cm and i weight 58 kg…i guess that would give you a slight idea how big this fish was)

Don’t forget to bleed the fish…(it will attract a lot of flies tho, and you will have to wash the boat after).

strange fact…this Mackie gave up pretty quick…

Bottom fishing - i got no photos to present, as i didn’t catch anything, except sharks, undersized red snappers and black spots(which were released back to water happy and alive)…i got something big but it got away.
Advice for Bottom Fishing, keep your rod and a line away, as far as you can, from your anchor rope!…thats how i lost my big “whatever it was” including a good 4 meters of main line, 2 new hooks, 2 sinkers,a meter of 60 lbs line and my dearest injured his ribs(while trying to swing the rod around the anchor rope)…ouch. x/
but here is a setup anyway =)
Mangrove Jacks
Karratha is filled with Mangroves, so going for a Mangrove Jack is the thing to do here. Jacks hanging around Mangrove roots,  on low tides you can see them swimming around in search of food, live bait for this occasion would be great…some whiteys would do(thin line with 8-12 little hooks on it and a fly-looking bait on it is a good way to catch them, or casting a net…if you can…i cannot =P, tried like 20 times and nothing)…damn every new type of fishing includes another fishing…I CANT WRITE ABOUT EVERYTHING IN ONE GO!!!
Where was i…
ah…! Mangrove jack setup…(the best time to catch is the 2 last hours of the flow out and the first hour of the flow in.
and here is the catch:
three beautiful Jacks…yes yes, THREE!!! The third one is on the ground…really…=)

Golden Travelly (GT’s) and Queeny’s - can be found close to mangroves or near the underwater rocks, they go for a live bait, fish flash or poppers…good fun to catch but not super tasty…
they look like that :
GT is on the left, Queeny is on the right…

For Mackies on the pipeline you have to launch your boat from Dampier boat ramp (the one near the LNG plant or whatever it is there) (a hint – find an Angel island)
For Jacks  … find Mangroves…

Exmouth…
A tip: go to Exmouth when it’s not raining, when wind is light and comes from the South East and get a bigger boat(in case if it’s windy).
The only fish you can get close to the shore is undersize and boring to catch. For good fishing need to head out to the reefs where the waves are breaking.

Crabbing
Donno if crabbing relates with fishing, but i will write.
There are quite a lot of blue swimmers in Karratha, and they make perfect chilly crabs. For crabbing you need a sounder and about 8 crabbing pots. Crabs love meet and also were found enjoying chicken liver as well. Launch from Karratha boat ramp and go to the depth of about 4-5 m, drop the pots in a line, by the time you drop the last pot, you will be ready to pick up the first one. Normally you would put the meat in the bait net made of some sort of flexible metal, but this doesn’t attracts crabs as the bait just being hooked on the metal clip.

Reminder: you will need at least three types of license to fish in Australia. 1-Skippers Ticket(if you have a boat the engine of which is greater than 6hp), 2-Boating license, crabbing is included in this one(if you fish from the boat), 3-netting license.
you don’t need any license if you rock fishing or casting from the coast.

Tips Summary:

• Use floaters if you fish for Mackies with a live bait or fish flash, it will keep your line and bait floating.
• When anchored, keep your line and rod away from the rope.
• To exclude injuries, keep your reef anchor under the seat or somewhere else…don’t hang it on the side of your boat…
• Exmouth fishing sucks within first 3-4 km offshore.
• Don’t use bait nets for crabbing…a piece of meat hanging on the clip is far more attractive for them…and it keeps crabs inside longer.

Garage sale: Tent for 6 people, new. Original price 230$, only used once. Will give away for a carton of pale ale.

SOLD straight away…to us ^__^. Was going to camp and needed a tent, luckily saw this add in the newspaper…
damn i like ozzies…jeez that was a good trade…A new tent for a carton of beer…UNBELIEVABLE!!!
hmmm what else can i buy with beers here???

An advice for travelers: Wherever you go, the best way to compare prices and costs is to look at the beer price.